I don’t know how to bring it up without losing my point or having the blame on me. I’m no good at communicating my wants and fixing problems because I know people tend to get DEFENSIVE and then start listing things you do wrong.
I want to tell you all the things that hurt me but you’re too perfect to admit that you’re wrong and I’m too wounded to tell you it’s your fault. You say you can’t change, I get that and I don’t want you too, but am I not at the very least deserving to read sweet messages in the morning or have someone wish me a good nights sleep? You say you love me. Yeah, words.
Dati sobra yung inis ko sa mga taomg araw araw na nga magkasama tapos magdamag pa magkatext o kaya yung baksyon nga buong araw naman sa cellphone kausap o katext yung “mahal” nila.
Ngayon naiingit na ako sa kanila.
Bakit sila nagagawa nilang magusap kahit magkalayo? Bakit sila kayang hanapan ng oras ang isa’t isa? Bakit yung mahal ko kailangan ko pang hintayin na palimusan ako ng oras makausap ko lang.
Ang haba haba ng araw. Dadating yung messages niya 2am o minsan wala pa. Pareho naman kami ng timezone pero bakit kailangan yung oras na normally tulog ang tao siya magtext? Ayaw niya bang magreply ako? Minsan hinihintay ko na magonline siya ng 2am para magkahsap kami pero hanggang 10 lang exchanges lang wala na siya. Mas madalas ko panv kachat mga kasama ko sa NFJPIA.
If I kill myself and blame DOTA, would you stop?
Just because I look okay doesn’t mean I’m fine. Truth be told, the idea of death doesn’t seem so bad. Maybe I should just die.
I love him but I can’t tolerate any more of his computer gaming. I feel neglected and I’m not happy anymore. It’s Valentines and he can’t even spare that day for me, I’ve never cried for anyone this much in my whole existence accumulated.
Valentines? Nah, mas masayang mag DOTA! FTS.
November 19, 2013
I remember him telling me once that he used to go home so often just so he can freshen up and look good for me. He did it again, but for who?
Also, earlier this day we saw this girl and he was disappointed he didn’t get to say “hi.” Why in front of me?
Painful, really painful. I don’t know if its right that I’m feeling this way and I don’t know if its good that I’m trying to tolerate all this. I don’t know, I don’t know anymore.
SO NOW IT’S YOUR TURN TO IGNORE ME? WOW, JUST WOW.